When my mother retired as government employee, I helped
packing-up some of her things at their office and returned all issued equipment
to the supply’s section. Same goes for all the documents and record paraphernalia
she brought in at our house…
In the middle of wadding, one familiar bag caught my
attention… a violet bag she always brought with where all she puts some of her
office documents and other battle gears and weapons (chuckles) like stapler, pencils
and pens, scissors, correctional ink, key-chain, ruler, among others, I ask her
if she’s still going to use some of those. So, she gave it to me then… I
brought them in my room to have those (still) useful particulars.
…as I was sorting out with a numbed shoulders and weary
eyes, I notice a small white envelope. Inside were nine (9) paychecks each
addressed to eight different personnel (my mom’s co- office mates). When I saw
the amount of each, I must say, it’s a bit odd and shocking. Though at one point,
I couldn’t hold myself off but I almost cracked into laughter because each
paycheck indicates really very small amounts. Though, all paychecks were dated
year 1992 and 1993, it’s still quite too small considering they were all
working in Government’s. However, what caught my attention was the stunning
paycheck amounting 10.29 PhP
At first, I didn’t tell ‘Ma that I had those in me. Although
should I asked her about the unclaimed paychecks. I just thought there was an
interesting story behind that might enlightened my curiosity.
While at our family’s dinner, I intentionally opened the
conversations first regarding her past experiences on her work and about her
fellow office mates. Out of my inquisitiveness, I asked her how much salary
should have had they get during the early 90’s. She said that, at that time,
they were receiving salaries ranging from 9,000 to 18, 000, all depending on
their respective ranks. Should have received it every 15 and 30-day, she
explained… I told my mom that I had in me the unclaimed paychecks of her
co-workers from her bag she gave. “They’re incredibly worth unreasonable”, I
said… “Nothing new…” she responded.
I asked her how a government employee could received such an
amount especially a 10-peso paycheck… “It was because of their big loans they
had”. “In every payroll, their debts automatically keep on eating up their
salaries.” “Practically, they weren’t receiving any… they’re working only just
to get by their dues. And, it’s being like that for two to three years,” She explicated.
“They really have to sacrifice until they’re completely paid-off”, Mom
added.
Then, I asked her of why on earth they had not claimed it
knowing that it’s still worth a penny and it can still be en-cashed it in banks
regardless of the amount? She enlightened me that it was pity because they were
embarrassed if they’re going to claim them. They could be bullied or anything
that could stomp their pride... She added that others would just tend to forget
that they have salaries. It seems they don’t bother themselves receiving such
unreasonable amounts. Few would just bravely say that “it’s yours madam, keep
it as a souvenir …”
Though funny to hear but deeply it’s disappointing,
to begin with. Painful but they have pride. I’m sure they’d never showed up
what they truly felt about the difficult situations they were into.
‘My mother remembered that the smallest salary ever of her
co-worker, whom had huge and multiple loans, was amounted 4.00php. If you
really think about it, such a shame, pity and ridiculous it seem! I must say
that the “blank cheques” itself was way more expensive than his salary.” To
say, my mother knew this because she once worked as an assistant finance
officer; responsible for recording and releasing all the employees’ salaries.
My mom shared sometimes she furtively handover a 50- pesos to
those few personnel receiving twenty pesos and below. Although they have pride
but mom still wanted to reach out the money through their hand. She wants to
make sure that they can go home to their families (at least it’s for a one-
kilogram of rice and or a “jeepney”
or tricycle ride). It’s the least she could do. What they had received was just
a sum that would not even sustain a single meal for the whole family.
Mother enlighten me that even though these people work so
hard to support their needs, because of the little income, they really need to
loan and or re-loan. It is in order for them to fulfill their daily financial
obligation and immediate necessities of their family. Foods, school contributions,
tuition fees, insurance, medical emergencies, electric bills, and other
family’s requests were few of their worries. Hence, in order not to compromise
their needs, they again borrow money to private lending individuals with
whooping interests. It leaves them no choice. For family’s sake, they ate and
swallowed their pride. It’s like biting an instant wagyu steak serve in a
silver platter from a fancy restaurant and pay the high price later. This cycle
continuously goes on and forth. Surely they got stuck in a vacuum of debts.
And back in my room -- while looking at this 10.29 PhP
paycheck, the story and words of my mom kept on resonating in my head. Remembering what
I did at the time I saw the paychecks and laugh so hard at it, I thought it was
a bit rude. But this time, I felt a sting inside of me. As I reflect and asked:
If I am to put myself in the situation of that employee, what would I feel if
one day my salary is not worth receiving because it can’t even buy a kilogram
of rice for my family? What if one day, the only thing I can do when a
15-day or 30-day salary comes is to ask for the paper to sign, took a package
and just fold the check within my hand, insert it in my pocket, leaved the
office without a word. Then, come back tomorrow and work again for another 8-long
hours in a day until week ends. After which, waiting for my 15th day salary and
do the same…? And going home with empty pocket and bringing nothing like food
for my family. And left no choice but to borrow some money yet again with
compounded interests. What pain could
that be?
At that very moment, my thoughts emptied. I felt gloomy and sad. Like a hard pang of pain strikes inside me. Then I just remembered my loving mother whom single-handedly took all of the responsibilities for us, after my papa’s passing.
Looking back, I had been asking them to shed a lot of money. To some extent I need it and then partly because I deserved it. I told myself that I can spend that money in a way I want it because it already belongs to me… For I know, I’m not really that cautious of what I spent the money for because the “happy-go-lucky guy” still with in me. And, I knew that I was spending a little more than what I really needed.
Just imagining “that man” working so hard and yet received
nothing is a picture of a depressing reality. For sure, it’s a struggling life.
Never thinking of the possibility that I might be in the same…
At one point maybe I become so selfish - that I wasted so
many just for my crazy things and stuffs; that at some point I tried to be the
person I want to fit in to a world I know I don’t belong to; that I tried to
live a way of life that I was struggling to keep-up on. To think, I am at fault. I am to blame. It was me who chose
to ask for too much just because I really thought that I deserved it. It was me
who asked for more just because they should had to for my own sake and silly
things.
Just imagining of that two-figured-amount, I feel affected
by it not because I pity for that man who brings nothing for his family. I
really feel more affected by it because of the possibility that, at certain
point, my parents might have received the same amount just all because of me
and of my stupid caprice; because I asked way too much for my own futile and
wasted needs. And maybe my mother at one point felt low because after her
hardships, she might only receive an amount of which it couldn’t even afford to
buy 1-kg of rice for food for all of us.
Thinking all of it, I felt of that man’s pain. But I felt
even more for the possibility of my parents if they had gone the same pain. I
have never asked my mother but I prefer not to. But I wonder if they had experienced
such situation in which either or both ‘ma and ‘pa received almost the same
amount of a ten-peso. I wonder if I could have done anything to ease their
burdens during those times.
Years had gone already my father passed away, and ‘ma is already retired from work and she deserves everything to have. But our mother remains the same, tireless of being a wonderful mother to us, my siblings. She’s strong, brave, principled and empowered. More than ever, She’s “Love.”
I love my family more than anything else. I care more about
them more than my grandiose game.
For now, I have no permanent work. But I’ll earn my own
money one day and promise to buy something more important than my lavished things
desires. Something of that I can share with to anyone who deserves it.
Something my family would be proud of because I did great by helping them.
I am not sure if situation alike such as of this still exist to someone, but I am hoping that no one should struggle from their job receiving a payment of as cheaper as the "blank-cheque" piece of paper itself.
Money should be spent wisely and effectively.
Every centavo counts. For now, I’ll be contented of what I have, what we have,
and what we can have. My caprice will have its time but I’ll forever keep the
lesson of this “10-peso piece of paycheck” within my heart.
